War Minus the Shooting: It’s a Funny Old Game

With football season over and baseball season about to begin, that means only one thing:  it’s time for the 2011 Funny Name All-Stars announcements!

MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS

  • Chicago Fire: Corben Bone, Baggio Husidic, Kwame Watson-Siriboe
  • Chivas USA: Kevin Guppy
  • Colorado Rapids: Nane Joseph Nane
  • Columbus Crew: Dilly Duka
  • DC United: Fred
  • FC Dallas: George John
  • Houston Dynamo: Hunter Freeman
  • Los Angeles Galaxy: Donovan Ricketts
  • New England Revolution: Kenney Mansally
  • New York Red Bulls: Tim Ream, Sinisa Ubiparipovic
  • Philadelphia Union: Amobo Okugo
  • Portland Timbers: Bright Dike
  • Real Salt Lake: Paolo Jr.
  • San Jose Earthquakes: Andre Andre Luis
  • Seattle Sounders FC: Terry Boss, Jhon Kennedy Hurtado
  • Sporting Kansas City: Teal Bunbury, Zoltan Zoltan
  • Toronto FC: Nana Attakora
  • Vancouver Whitecaps FC: Jonathan Leathers

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS

  • Arizona Diamondbacks: J.J. Putz
  • Atlanta Braves: Jair Jurrjens
  • Baltimore Orioles: Felix Pie, Rick VandenHurk
  • Boston Red Sox: Jarrod Saltalamacchia
  • Chicago Cubs: Kosuke Fukudome, Koyle Hill
  • Chicago White Sox: Erick Threets
  • Cincinnati Reds: Yonder Alonzo
  • Cleveland Indians: Grady Sizemore
  • Colorado Rockies: Jhoulys Chacin
  • Detroit Tigers: Alberto Albuquerque, Charlie Furbush, Will Rhymes
  • Florida Marlins: Burke Badenhop
  • Houston Astros: Jason Bourgeois, Wandy Rodriguez
  • Kansas City Royals: Melky Cabrera
  • Los Angeles Angels: Jason Bulger
  • Los Angeles Dodgers: Blake Hawksworth
  • Milwaukee Brewers: Yuniesky Betancourt, Prince Fielder
  • Minnesota Twins: Jeff Manship
  • New York Mets: Lucas Duda, R.A. Dickey
  • New York Yankees: Nick Swisher
  • Oakland Athletics: Coco Crisp
  • Philadelphia Phillies: Antonio Bastardo, Brian Bocock
  • Pittsburgh Pirates: Jon Bowker
  • St. Louis Cardinals: Skip Schumacher
  • San Diego Padres: Chase Headley
  • San Francisco Giants: Madison Bumgarner, Buster Posey
  • Seattle Mariners: Milton Bradley, Chone Figgins, Doug Fister
  • Tampa Bay Rays: Reid Brignach
  • Texas Rangers: Pedro Strop, Taylor Teagarden
  • Toronto Blue Jays: Jo-Jo Reyes, Marc Rzepczynski
  • Washington Nationals: Atahualpa Severino

NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS

  • Atlanta Hawks: Zaza Pachulia
  • Boston Celtics: Luke Harongody, Von Wafer
  • Charlotte Bobcats: DeSagana Diop
  • Chicago Bulls: Carlos Boozer
  • Cleveland Cavaliers: Jamario Moon
  • Dallas Mavericks: Ian Mahinmi
  • Denver Nuggets: Arron Afflalo, Renaldo Balkman, Nene Hilario
  • Detroit Pistons: Jonas Jerebko
  • Golden State Warriors: Acie Law
  • Houston Rockets: Chase Bundinger
  • Indiana Pacers: Tyler Hansbrough
  • Los Angeles Clippers: Rasual Butler, Ike Diogu
  • Los Angeles Lakers: Derrick Caracter
  • Memphis Grizzlies: Rudy Gay, Hasheem Thabeet
  • Miami Heat: Chris Bosh
  • Milwaukee Bucks: Keyon Dooling, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute
  • Minnesota Timberwolves: Kosta Koufos
  • New Jersey Nets: Derrick Favors
  • New Orleans Hornets: DJ Mbenga, Quincy Pondexter
  • New York Knicks: Kelenna Azubuike
  • Oklahoma City Thunder: Nenad Krstic, Thabo Sefolosha
  • Orlando Magic: Hedo Turkoglu
  • Philadelphia ’76ers: Marreese Speights
  • Phoenix Suns: Zabian Dowdell, Marcin Gortat
  • Portland Trail Blazers: Patty Mills
  • Sacramento Kings: Luther Head, Pooh Jeter
  • San Antonio Spurs: Tiago Splitter
  • Toronto Raptors: DeMar DeRozan
  • Utah Jazz: Kyrylo Fesenko
  • Washington Wizards: Andray Blatche, JaVale McGee

NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS

  • Arizona Cardinals: Jay Feely, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, LaRod Stephens-Howling
  • Atlanta Falcons: Coy Wire, Bear Woods
  • Baltimore Ravens: Todd Heap
  • Buffalo Bills: Jehuu Calucrick, Ed Wang, Mansfield Wrotto
  • Carolina Panthers: Captain Munnerlyn, Keith Null
  • Chicago Bears: Josh Bullocks, Julius Peppers
  • Cincinnati Bengals: Frostee Rucker, Fui Vakapuna
  • Cleveland Browns: Ko Quaye
  • Dallas Cowboys: Tashard Choice
  • Denver Broncos: Knowshon Moreno, Sydquon Thompson
  • Detroit Lions: Joe Jon Finley, Sammie Hill
  • Green Bay Packers: Brad Chillar, A.J. Hawk
  • Houston Texans: Trindon Holliday
  • Indianapolis Colts: Kole Heckendorf
  • Jacksonville Jaguars: Guy Whimper
  • Kansas City Chiefs: Jerheme Urban
  • Miami Dolphins: Richie Incognito, Lousaka Polite
  • Minnesota Vikings: Adrian Awasom, Cord Parks
  • New England Patriots: BenJarvus Green-Ellis
  • New Orleans Saints: Jermon Bushrod
  • New York Giants: Madison Hedgecock, Ayanga Okpokowuruk, Sage Rosenfels
  • New York Jets: D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Drew Willy
  • Oakland Raiders: Rock Cartwright, John Condo
  • Philadelphia Eagles: Brodrick Bunkley, Moise Fokou
  • Pittsburgh Steelers: Maurkice Pouncey, Limas Sweed
  • St. Louis Rams: C.J. Ah You, Michael Hoomanawanui
  • San Diego Chargers: James Dearth
  • San Francisco ’49ers: Travis LaBoy, Lance Long
  • Seattle Seahawks: Tyler Polumbus
  • Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kregg Lumpkin, Stylez G White
  • Tennessee Titans: Riar Geers, Yamon Figurs
  • Washington Redskins: Mike Furrey

NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS

  • Anaheim Ducks: Kyle Chipchura
  • Atlanta Thrashers: Dustin Byfuglien
  • Boston Bruins: Johnny Boychuck
  • Buffalo Sabres: Craig Rivet
  • Calgary Flames: Jay Bouwmeester
  • Carolina Hurricanes: Tuomo Ruutu
  • Chicago Blackhawks: Michael Frolik
  • Colorado Avalanche: Brandon Yip
  • Columbus Blue Jackets: Grant Clitsome
  • Dallas Stars: Karlis Skrastins
  • Detroit Pistons: Justin Abdelkaber
  • Edmonton Oilers: Taylor Chorney, Shawn Horcoff
  • Florida Panthers: Keaton Ellerby, Darcy Hordichuk, Marty Reasoner
  • Los Angeles Kings: Jonathan Quick
  • Minnesota Wild: Cal Clutterbuck, Clayton Stoner
  • Montreal Canadiens: Roman Hamrlik
  • Nashville Predators: David Legwand, Jordin Tootoo
  • New Jersey Devils: Anssi Salmela
  • New York Islanders: Jesse Joensuu, Zenon Konopka, Rob Schrempf
  • New York Rangers: Mats Zuccarello
  • Ottawa Senators: Colin Greening
  • Philadelphia Flyers: Darroll Powe, Chris Pronger
  • Phoenix Coyotes: Vernon Fiddler, Nolan Yonkman
  • Pittsburgh Penguins: Alex Goligoski
  • St. Louis Blues: Carlo Colaiacovo, B.J. Crombeen, Nikita Nikitin
  • San Jose Sharks: Ben Eager
  • Tampa Bay Lightning: Matt Smaby
  • Toronto Maple Leafs: Tyler Bozak, Joey Crabb
  • Vancouver Canucks: Manny Malhotra
  • Washington Capitals: Jason Chimera

2 SHOTS LICKED so far.

  1. Cesar Rauls
    02/22/2011 at 2:37 PM

    If Derek Jeter decides he wants to buy a gigantic mansion then that’s up to him. If it in fact is disturbing his games then don’t pay him so much so he won’t be able to afford such distracting extravagance.

    • ChardSwissnym
      02/23/2011 at 10:12 AM

      Ah yes, but what is the extra “A” in aardvark for anyway? They’re just being greedy.

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