Watchin’ My Stories: “Billy’s Prison Diary – How It All Happened”

Today we’ll be re-launching a short story series I started several years ago called “Billy’s Prison Diary”.  Enjoy.


to hear henry tell it them people just about controled the whole world.  sometimes wed be over to lances diner grill and tommyd be readin the paper and henryd up and talk about how this or that, you know them jews are behind it.  and tommyd say naw you say that about everything but henry always had an anser.  me i didnt talk much on account of i had to help mama i never learnt how to read but henry he went to libarys and gun shows and the like and he was always bringin around sum book.  so he would say all the landlords in the citys they was jews and all them bankers was jews and all the wars got started by jews so as to kill off the white christians and make it look like they done it to themselves.  and i gotta admit that the way henry explained it it made a lot of sense to me altho sometimes i couldnt figure out how come if it was such a big secret henry new about it.  but he could always explain it right.

anyways when he won that radio show contest on wlax he said it was a dream come true.  see he listened to them sports talk shows on wlax and one day he come around hollerin about he hit the jackpot so we asked him you win the lotry hank?  and he says naw i won this contest on the radio show.  two tickets all expense payed to the big apple and see the braves play the mets.  and tommy says hell henry you don’t even like baseball.  and he says dont you get it boys?  the big apple that means new york city only he says it jew york city like he does when hes riled up.  he was always saying that jew york city and the jew york times and the dishonorable senator from the state of jew york and what have you.  see the way henry figgered it this would be his big chance to get up there and show them jews what runs the country that he was wise to all their games.  i swear to god tho he didnt plan on hurtin nobody.

but it so hapened that henry asked me to go along with him cause it was two tickets all expenses payed and he tole amanda to stay home and look after the kids and sides shes pregnant agin so she couldnt travel nowhow and I sad shure hank but why me?  and he said dammit billy you bin like a son to me all these years and you dont want to grow up in a world where them jews can pull a fast one on you do you?  and i said no sir no sirree and to tell you the truth i was proud that he tole me i was like a son so i got the week off at the gas station and off we went.

on the plane he was explainin on account of i asked how you could tell a jew.  he says well ususally just from lookin.  or if a guy owns a newspaper or a media or what have you that guys bound to be a jew.  but if otherwise you didnt know, most jews got farb or stine or burg in their names.  some lady on the seat acrost from me give us a durty look while he was sayin this and i got worried maybe she was a jew but henry says naw she aint none.  i says how can you tell?  and he says cause she aint sittin in first class.  we had us some laffs over that one.

by the time we get to the hotel we was pretty tired and henry looks around and says look at this place.  so fancey you know a jew gots to own it.  i said you sure we should stay here then henry?  and he says yeah its comin outa the hook noses pocket wed be fools not to.  the next day I thot we could go out and see the empire state building or the statue of liberty or some other tv shit but henry says he wants to get right at tellin off the jews.  so we go to this bank in midtown and then a newspaper and somewhere i think he says was an insurance company and ask to talk to the president but we just got throwed out every time.  when we got back to the hotel he was pretty sore.  i said hey hank why dont we go to a broadway show or somethin?  and he says naw all them shows are up in niggertown.  i says i thot we was here to flush out the jews and he says all them jews use niggers as muscle.  it sounded kinda crazy to me but he says what was all them security guards who throwed us out when we asked to see the head jew in charge?  and i says they was colored fellas.  and when he explained it like that it did make a lot of sense.

next day we was runnin around in some neighborhood fulla men with beards and funny like hats lookin like cowboys and henry says we was right in the heart of jew york city.  he commenced to yellin at these characters how hes onto their game and they best believe that theres gone come a reckoning when the white man takes back whats his.  he collars this one fella and says are you one of the jew bankers?  and this fella says in a forin kinda accent no hes a moyel or somethin.  henry asks what is that and the fella tells him.  and i thot it was kinda funny but henry didnt think it was funny no sirree.

before i knowed it we was up in some colored part of town and i said hell henry its almost dark aint we gonna go see that braves game?  he said fuck the braves billy what did we come all the way here for anyways?  i said well we aint had much luck showin up them jews maybe we had oughtta quit while we was ahead.  he says the hell i will that just what them jews want.  soon enuf hes talkin to some colored boys and when i ask what was he talkin about he says just takin care of business.  i says yeah but them boys was coloreds you said they was muscle for the blacks.  and he says billy sometimes you gotta use the enemys strength again him and he shows me a pistol he bought off of them.  i ask him what you gonna do with that henry?  and he says im gonna make difference.  i ask where he was going and he says you wanna find them jews you go where the money is.  i said you aint thinkin about robbin no bank are you henry?  and he says dont you worry about that.

i didnt know them jews run the diamond business sir.  i swear to god i didn’t want no one to get hurt.


%d bloggers like this: