Things Sarah Palin Has Quit: A Semi-Comprehensive List

1.  Playing competitive basketball

2.  Attending the University of Hawaii

3.  Attending Hawaii Pacific University

4.  Attending North Idaho College

5.  Competing in beauty pageants

6.  Attending Matanuska-Susitna College

7.  Working as a sports reporter

8.  Working as a sports broadcaster

9. Serving on the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission

10.   Serving on the Ted Stevens Excellence in Public Service Inc. group

11.  Serving as governor of Alaska

12.  Hosting Sarah Palin’s Alaska

13.  Being a FOX News commentator

14.  Conducting a cross-country bus tour

15.  I’m not sure if this counts but I was watching one of those Sarah Palin look-alike porn videos and she just walked off in the middle of a blowjob