Ten the Hard Way

Ten the Hard Way

30

Jul

2012

I don't believe in any organized religion, and I'm against prescriptivism in general, so the Ten Commandments can go pound sand as far as I'm concerned.  But here's a decalogue I wish I'd taken less time to learn:I.  Be careful about anyone who says they're doing something "for your own good".  It's one ...
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Those Who Candide

Those Who Candide

28

Jul

2012

Okay, I know this is probably a tired observation and all that, but forgive me, I haven't slept in four days.WHY I HATE 'CREATIVE' PEOPLE, CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED BILLIONWatching the Olympics reminds me of something that's been true since the dawn of competitive athletics: you don't have to be good at a sport, ...
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To 78.5% of the Girls I’ve Loved Before

To 78.5% of the Girls I’ve Loved Before

26

Jul

2012

IN WHICH I COMPARE WOMEN I'VE KNOWN TO POP SONGS BECAUSE THAT'S THE KIND OF HIGHLY ORIGINAL, NON-OBJECTIFYING HETERONORMATIVE HEPCAT I SWING TO BE#1: You were "Harden My Heart" by Quarterflash. You were by the first band I ever saw in concert of my own volition; and you were, all things considered, a tasty ...
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In a White Land

In a White Land

24

Jul

2012

Elisa come home last week with her boyfriend.  His name is Terry.  She’s been goin’ out with him for eight months and she calls us up on New Years and says, oh, I’m comin’ home soon and you’re finally gonna get to meet Terry.  Like we all been sittin’ around here waiting for it.  Big deal, we finally get to ...
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The Gun and the Libel II

The Gun and the Libel II

20

Jul

2012

Whenever I write about politics, someone I know -- often it's a well-meaning friend of largely the same liberal temperament as myself -- will scold me about being an idealist.  We are, after all, discussing "the art of the possible", and it does no good to refuse to face up to practical considerations, even if it means adm ...
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Undeniable Implausibility

Undeniable Implausibility

19

Jul

2012

If you need a sign of how far our country's political system has fallen in the last three decades, you need look no further than the attempt to reclaim the Reagan legacy...by liberals.Reagan, a former Democrat, union boss (albeit one who used the position to snitch out commies), and advocate of a moderately sane tax rate, ...
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Human Bandwidth

Human Bandwidth

17

Jul

2012

Every time an election rolls around, we are told by some high-minded pundit or another that it isn't merely about choosing one party and its values, or about the issues at stake at any given time; it is about profound philosophical differences.  I'm not sure why this observation is supposed to carry any weight; the idea th ...
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Between Impression and Expression: Jimmy Reid

Between Impression and Expression:  Jimmy Reid

15

Jul

2012

A rat race is for rats.  We’re not rats.  We’re human beings.  Reject the insidious pressures in society that would blunt your critical faculties to all that is happening around you, that would caution silence in the face of injustice lest you jeopardize your chances of promotion and self-advancement.  This is how i ...
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Talking Heads

Talking Heads

14

Jul

2012

"Stop tormenting me, you ridiculous contraption!" WHAT IS THE MATTER WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH CANT YOU THINK OF ANYTHING"You know deuced well that I cannot concentrate on my art with your infernal chattering." OH SO ITS MY FAULT IS IT WILLIAM-WORDSWORTH YES THAT MUST BE IT AND NOT AT ALL THAT YOU ARE A BIG HACK"A hack? What on. ...
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Thou Art This, That, and the Other

Thou Art This, That, and the Other

13

Jul

2012

Jose Ortega y Gasset called the metaphor "the most fertile power possessed by mankind".  He compared its potential to reshape the world to that of magic, a divine implement somehow handed down to mere humanity.  Indeed, one could argue that the metaphor is humanity; it combines two of our most unique qualities -- languag ...
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1000 Flavors of Heavy: Kadavar, Kadavar

1000 Flavors of Heavy:  Kadavar, <i>Kadavar</i>

12

Jul

2012

Goodness knows, I am no metal purist.  I've been listening to heavy music for thirty years, and I've always been an advocate of the big-tent metaphor; the very title of this feature should clue you in to my feelings about inclusiveness as regards the genre.  And although I can understand, given the mainstream's history of ...
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Every Little Fellow

Every Little Fellow

11

Jul

2012

Stand down, oppressors! Your days of dominance are finished; your time of reckoning is at hand!You have stood on our necks for too long. You have excluded us from many of the professions; you have prevented us from becoming educated; you have made us second- and third-class citizens -- and all the while you have said it is ...
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The List

The List

10

Jul

2012

1.  Highly controversial choice meant to enrage readers, thus drawing lots of links and hits2.  Conventional but 'artsy' choice to prove aesthetic credentials3.  Completely ordinary choice that is actually the thing you like best, but you put it third so as not to seem obvious4.  Another completely ordinary choice meant ...
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He Skypes to Conquer

He Skypes to Conquer

9

Jul

2012

"All right, let's move on to Action Item #7.""Why must we call them that? This is all talk. No action.""It's just a phrase, mighty Genghis. It is meant to remind us that these items under discussion are meant to be acted upon immediately rather than tabled.""What table? There is no table.""It's a figure of speech, mighty Ge ...
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Between Impression and Expression: Julia Child

Between Impression and Expression:  Julia Child

7

Jul

2012

The French are very sensitive to personal dynamics, and they believe that you must earn your rewards.  If a tourist enters a food stall thinking he's going to be cheated, the salesman will sense this and obligingly cheat him.  But if a Frenchman senses that a visitor is delighted to be in his store, and takes a genuine in ...
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