The Alternate Emmys

Outstanding Monkey Drama Series:
Monkey Murder Squad • CBS
One Tough Monkey • ABC
The Logbook of Sailor Beppo • HBO
Philadelphia Organgrinders • FOX
President Ape • NBC

Outstanding Robot Comedy Series:
Class 3 Laughter Inducement Program • FOX
Me and HRX4220149-Delta-AM1640-C • Showtime
Flesh-Sac Commands Me to Dance • CBS
Disable Your Seriousness • HBO
My Next-Door Neighbor is a Gay Robot!!! • NBC

Outstanding Civil War Variety, Music Or Comedy Series:
Dave Chappelle’s “I Ain’t Your Motherfuckin’ Slave, Bitch” Show • Comedy Central
Up All Night with William Tecumseh Sherman • NBC
The Severed Limbs of the South • Comedy Central
Brother Against Brother Against Big Brother • CBS
Monday Night Horrific Slaughter • ABC

Outstanding Reality Program:
Colonialism House • PBS
Amateur Hostage Negotiator • ABC
Frozen Hot Dog Hour with Corey Feldman & Corey Haim • AMC
Project:  Gaslight • HBO
Those Amazing Homosexuals • Bravo

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program:
The Amazing Racist • CBS
American Idolater • FOX
The Unpaid Intern • NBC
Last Commie Standing • NBC
Get On Your Knees and Beg Us to Stop • ABC

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series:
Barry Swettsoch as Ritter von Woolmark, Gestapo the Pops • HBO
Stratford Halverson as Johnny Thirdface, Freaks: The Sitcom • ABC
Cisco Eagleton as Dr. Emil Fours-Fied, Peon Me • NBC
Kevin DuPre as MC Dux Oop, The Fantabulous Rapstravaganza • The CW
Ivan al-Pini as Dingleberry, I Say! • USA

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series:
Amanda Plummet as Jessica Verrucca, Let’s Whack Your Sister • CBS
Kim Chinois as Candy DaTreatment, My One Asian Friend • NBC
Keri Hunch as The Woman, Look at That Woman! • ABC
Verry Ajid as Mama Crass, Waiting to Die • FOX
Jerri Sextette as Maria Concieted Elongate, Castin’ Couch! • USA

Outstanding Deceased Guest Star In A Television Series:
Edgar Bergen as Killa Strenth, Crips v. Bloods • CBS
Claudette Colbert as Connie Lingus, Aer Lingus • AMC
Herve Villaichaize as Guy Weeping Uncontrollably, When Will It End? • NBC
Alfred Hitchcock as Du-Du, Terror of the Teletubbies • PBS
Adolf Hitler as Crazy Great-Uncle Wolfgang, Humor Trafficking • Comedy Central