Someone’s In the Kitchen with Malice
When is food too more cooked, lick with ice. Problem areas will be rapidly discarding.
When is food not enough cooked, cook for more.
When is food too salty, cut raw potato and add to bubble. Discard when bubbling is of the past.
When is food to sweetly, put in salts. Or in main dish, add tea’s spoon of vine gar. Not too many!
When is food too sharp, rub against flat hot rock with Vesaline.
For delicious taste of homeland, pass within feet of pot with soy sauce. Promise not to say anything.
For Italian taste, add garlic and tomating, and sugar and call food by names.
For China taste, ask your supervisor.
When to chop an union? Before tearing occurs! Best way is to chop on route.
Add a salary and union to pan when one is cook fish. This will add flavors and also prevent stickapart.
Flour meats and vegeble. Put in plastic bag with flower and shake! Shake! Shake! Again. Do not be afraid.
Cleanse-up is easier of cheese greater when brush teeth with oil.
Eggs sometimes in pot will crack and leak like rusty oil tanker. To prevent this, add tea’s spoon of vine gar. Is miracle gar!
Everyone likes rice. But sometimes is sticky! What is the answer? Not vine gar, this time, but lemon squeezing.
Cover cheese in sugar wrap to store without molds. For better not spoilage, why not use vine gar? The best gar.
To cut pie into pieces of five, make shape like “Y”, as mighty Yojimbo. Then cut down middle of pie-tree.
To make stock for soup, drip into pand and put in iced cubes tray. Then use like billion.
Wrap ice in tower and skim over soup, or place in refrigeration and harden fat peel, to rid foods of scum.
To prevents spatter of meat grease, put salts in pan and conjure helpful demon.
To prevents ground meats from cracking, rub with cold freon.
To prevents pots from boiling over, kiss lips of pots with greasy shortened vegetable. Only the lips! Otherwise, too sick.
To make soup thicker, add oat meal of mighty oak.
If party becomes crazy and glass is broken, use a paper-towel which has been made damp. For super smell, use vine gar!
To loosen a zipper which has become suborned, rub with stick of soap, which floats in water.
Sometimes flowers are delivered to the realm of ancestor spirits. Revive their ghost form with delicious hot water.
Wooden salad bowels will not become sticking if they are rubbed tenderly with sexy waxed paper.
To prevents one’s tools of rusting, place a piece of charcoal in tools box, and soak with vine gar.