Charlie and Me

08.29.

Hey guess what you guys! I finally got a new ROOMMATE for the coming semester all riiiiiight

He is a transfer student a from Califronia. It looks pretty cool bunking with him he’s totally a hippie but at least that means he will be able to hook me up with some cool ‘stuff’ if you know what I mean! PARTY AT ARCADELPHIA 14 DUDES

His name is Charlie. He’s really short and doesn’t do sports or antyhing so he’ll probably be really quiet. He’s kind of raggedy looking and all but whenever I seen him around the chicks are always hanging off of him, so who knows maybe he’s got a secret

More later when he moves in! Totally excited.

MOOD: excited!

MUSIC: “COme Out and Play”, Offspring

09.02

Well Charlie moved in today. I don’t want to come off as all like shallow or whatever like I’m jumping the gun, but I’m beginning to think this wasn’t the best idea in the world. The whole place smells like patchouli and he’s decorating the walls of the dorm room by writing stuff like “PIGGIE WIGGIE” and “BLOOD FOR THE CHILDREN” in red paint on the walls. Real funny Chuck! ( He totally hates it when you call him Chuck).

On the other hand he did say he if we got cable in the dorm room he would pay for it.

MOOD: dunno

MUSIC: WWE Smackdown! theme

09.15

Charlie’s friend Tex keeps coming over and it kind of pisses me off. He has a big problem with black people. He sais there’s going to be a race war or something, I don’t know, I’m ususally pretty high by the time he starts going off about it. And I’m like, dude, don’t say that shit around my girlfriend or I’ll kick your ass. (Not that Rebecca is black or anything — no way! — but I think she’s almost one quarter Cherokee and also she’s totally comfortalbe with black people, so I think she wouldn’t dig Tex saying it UNCOOL BRO.)

Not that I would really kick Tex’s ass! He’s kind of freaky. Also, he’s on the baseball team. His girfriend Alice is pretty hot thoug.

Also, I WAS RIGHT about Charlie having the good stuff! Keep it cumming! (He’s not an art major after all. I’m not sure what he majors in. Every time I bring it up he just starts yakking about the “Federalees”, whatever they are. He does have a lot of books about religioun. Maybe he’s doing divinity. Or he could be undeclared, I dunno.

MOOD: curious

MUSIC: Eminem, “White America”

09.27

MEMO TO CHUCK: There are more songs in the world than “Helter Skelter”! GOD DAMN

MOOD: pissed off

MUSIC: “Helter Skelter”, The Beatles. AGAIN!!!

10.01

So Chuck comes home the other day while I’m TRYING to study for my Econ midterm. And he’s totally ripped as usual (I don’t even think he goes to classes. The only time I ever see him outside the dorm is when he’s giving some kind of retarded lecture to the other hippies about the Flood That Is Coming, whatever that is. Of course none of this means he’s NOT doing divinity.) And he starts playing the White Album AGAIN whihc wouldn’t be so bad because I have my iPod, but then he puts up a poster of Sharon Tate up over my Rockies schedule. So I’m all like “Chuck you are totally violating the cool roommate code here, man.”

And he says “Listen man, sometimes you’re up on the cross, and you’re bleeding all over the children, the children man, they’re the ones who done it don’t blame me ’cause it’s the children who did this to you, because you created it man! And you’re up on the cross and you’re bleeding and suffering and you’re spilling death and guts all over the people and so you scream and scream and now do you understand? Do you understand now?”

And I’m like, “Duh!!! NO I DON’T GET IT CHUCK.” Next semester I’m rooming with that guy John Gacy from Liberty 21. He’s an art major and does clown shoews. Those guys are nice and quiet.

MOOD: whatever

MUSIC: sounds like screaming coming from the bathroom, no way am I going in there.

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