Spirits in the Sky
BRAHMA: Come on, guys, let’s get a move on here. I want to get home before the next Maha Yuga.
VISHNU: I need a drink.
SHIVA: You need six drinks. Maybe then you’ll pass out.
V: Eat it.
B: Seriously. Let’s just figure this out, it shouldn’t be taking this long. It’s one lousy trimurti.
S: Well, go ahead already, you’re so smart.
B: All right. I’m going to be the Nathan.
V: The what now?
S: Do your homework, alkie.
B: It’s the Source. The Creator.
V: Wait, why do you get to be the creator? Just because you showed up earlier than anyone else?
S: You snooze, you lose, blue-balls.
V: Total rip.
B: I rented the room. I should get to be the creator. Plus I have ten heads.
V: I could have ten heads if I wanted to.
S: Well, why don’t you, then?
V: I don’t feel like it.
S: Uh huh.
V: I just don’t.
S: Sure. Have another drink, why don’t you.
V: Why don’t you have ten heads?
S: I don’t want ten heads!
V: Well, neither do I!
B: See, this is why I get to be the Nathan. Now, who wants to be Thirumal, the Preserver, the Indwelling Life, the Operator?
V: I’ll do it! What do I have to do?
B: You get to hang out in the center of the world and keep the whole universe running smoothly.
S: Ha ha, good luck with that, sucker!
V: What do you mean?
S: Stuck in a little hot room all day. No more gin for you!
V: Wait, I want take-backs. Shiva should be the Preserver. I’ll take whatever’s left.
S: Hey, no way! You already called Preserver. I’ll take, uh, what is left?
S: And what’s that?
B: The Transformer. The Destroyer of Worlds.
S: Fucking awesome!
V: This really, really sucks.
S: When do I start?
B: At the end of time.
V: Oh, burn!