I’m a ‘Gypsy’ Motherfucker

FREAKS, FAGGOTS, DRUNKS & JUNKIES:
a musical fantasy based upon the songs of GG Allin

Act 1

Flashback: Lancaster, N.H., 1975. A young Kevin Allin is celebrating his 18th birthday and his parents, a pair of well-off New Englanders, present him with a gift he’s dreamed of since his freshman year in high school: a cherry red Fender Stratocaster guitar. Tentatively plucking out a few clumsy chords, the man who will be GG. sings a tender, hopeful song about his hopes and dreams: “I’m Gonna Rape You”.

After leaving his small-town roots, the newly rechristened GG Allin, with his starry-eyed, naïve younger brother Merle in tow, arrives in the Big Apple. Overwhelmed by the bright lights of the big city, Merle and GG sing the jazzy, up-tempo paean to urban life: “Hard Candy Cock”.

Soon, GG and his ragtag band of misfits — calling themselves, in homage to the big-screen scamps that were their childhood idols, the Scumfucs — have landed their first record deal with tiny Orange Records out of New Jersey. Dreams of success and stardom dance in their heads as they croon the optimistic “Scars on My Body, Scabs on My Dick”.

With success comes new opportunities for the hopelessly romantic young man from New Hampshire. At one of his shows at the legendary Apollo Theatre in Harlem, he meets a charming young nursing student named Susie from Enid, Oklahoma, and falls deeply in love for the first time. Frightened by his feelings of vulnerability, he’s unsure what to do, until Susie beckons him with the touching, sincere ballad “Suck My Ass It Smells”.

But there’s more than love that’s got GG walking on air: his breakthrough album, from which this show draws its name, is at the top of the charts, and he’s playing command performances before presidents and kings. Amazed but bouyed by his stellar career and luck in love, GG sings the festive and brassy “Needle Up My Cock”.

However, it’s not all smiles and sunshine in the colorful and creatively decorated Scumfucs HQ. G.G.’s brother Merle feels like the forgotten Allin; while GG soaks up fame, romance and the pride and approval of their parents, he languishes in the role of bass player and backup vocalist. Determined to undermine his older sibling, Merle performs the sinister minor-key showpiece “Jesus and Mother’s Cunt”.

In a rare private moment, the brothers visit their old childhood bedroom and reminisce about how far they’ve come. Over chocolate shakes and old issues of Spin magazine, they share a genuine moment of fraternal love. Merle has second thoughts about his nefarious scheme as the brothers sing the gentle duet “Young Little Meat”.

In the end, though, Merle has come too far to turn back. Spinning a yarn about infidelity and gold-digging, he convinces his older brother that the innocent Susie is a two-timing hussy who’s just using GG for his newfound money and fame. Unsure who to believe — his lady love or his trusted young sibling — GG confronts her in the bold, striking number “I Kill Everything I Fuck”.

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(Production Notes: this evening, the role of GG Allin will be played by Mr. Crawford’s understudy, Shia LaBeouf. Additionally, by popular request, Act II will not be performed.)

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