A Check You Can’t Cash

A Check You Can’t Cash

31

May

2014

"For goodness' sake, will they hear?  Will white people hear what we are trying to say?  Please!  All we are asking you to do is to recognize that we are humans, too."  (Desmond Tutu)In difficult economic times such as the sort the whole world has struggled through since 2008, and especially when they are additionally t ...
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The Name is Joakes…Richard Joakes

The Name is Joakes…Richard Joakes

29

May

2014

"Thanks for coming in to see us today, Rich.""Dick.""What?""I go by Dick.""Oh! Ha ha. Okay, sorry, Dick. That's one of the reasons we call people in...the preliminary screenings don't really tell us anything. We kind of want to get to know the real you. So, you know, we'll go over your resume, here, and you can just walk us ...
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The Union Forever

The Union Forever

27

May

2014

"The goal here will be a pincers movement, coming down from the north with the Fifth Army and circling to the rear, and moving up and over from the south by Belgrade with the Ninth, so we'll eventually encircle the whole territory. Now, if all goes well, we should have this...""General Horlen?""...wrapped up by, er -- yes, ...
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Willie Chickenshack’s R&J Brandy

Willie Chickenshack’s R&J Brandy

25

May

2014

BILL: Okay, listen to this.BACON: Hit me.BILL: "But soft, what light..."BACON: Wait, what? Butt soft? Who's he talking about?BILL: Juliet.BACON: He's talking about how her butt is soft? What kind of shit is that? They're never gonna let you say that.BILL: No, no, "but soft". Like, he's saying, "hold on".BACON: Why don't y ...
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Guess Who’s Back, Back Again

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again

23

May

2014

Hey there, Nuremburg High class of 1919!Can it really be twenty years since we happy kampfers spent our final years as Fightin' Teutons?  Can it really be two decades since we welcomed home our fathers and older brothers and their remainig limbs from the final war Germany will ever fight?  Can that really ...
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Full Casual Jacket

Full Casual Jacket

21

May

2014

"Sound off! What's your name, asswipe?""Uh...Alan Corwin.""Bullshit! I can't hear you, asswipe! Speak up like when you tell your girlfriend to tug on it! What's your name, asswipe?""Corwin. Alan Corwin. I'm from Document Control.""Document Control? Is that what they're calling it now? Bullshit! You're a fucking file clerk! ...
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Scam I Am

Scam I Am

19

May

2014

Dear Mrs. Oguntade,It was with joy and, I must admit, some degree of surprise that I received your e-mail of the 15th entitled "RE save our soul". The joy, as you might imagine, stemmed from your generous though slightly bewildering offer to remit to me the kingly sum of USD$111,600,443 in exchange for my aid in helping yo ...
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Nothing Succeeds Like Failure

Nothing Succeeds Like Failure

17

May

2014

Jan 14 - The syndicate has picked up Rick Ratso! I finally made it, baby. All the effort has been worth it. I want to celebrate, but there's already no time -- I've got to turn in the first 2 weeks of strips by next Wednesday.Jan 29 - Good press already! The reviews have been pretty positive and six new papers have picked u ...
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Loving the Alien

Loving the Alien

15

May

2014

I sometimes think of it like he's from a different planet. Every time he talks about how persecuted the rich are, or how feminism is turning our kids into homosexuals, or how my "people" wouldn't understand this or that because we aren't really part of the great Western tradition, I pretend that he's from an alien world wh ...
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War Minus the Shooting: No Crying in Baseball

War Minus the Shooting:  No Crying in Baseball

13

May

2014

It has been sportswriting law since 1992 that any article dealing with women in baseball must quote that line from A League of Their Own, and I have never been one to swim against the tide.  (Though, of course, it was written by someone who's clearly never spent any time inside an MLB clubhouse, where tears are shed with ...
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The Most Beautiful Fraud: Kill List

The Most Beautiful Fraud:  <i>Kill List</i>

12

May

2014

Surprise is one of the most important things to me in art.  When you reach a certain point in your life, you've become more or less familiar with most of the standard structure of narrative art forms, and while you can certainly appreciate it when something is simply done with excellent technique, what really knocks you ba ...
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Return of the Justice Squadron

Return of the Justice Squadron

9

May

2014

A long time ago, back when the invasion of Iraq was as fresh as a spring rain and hadn't yet curdled into the biggest waste of life, wealth, and moral authority in this country's history, I found myself reading an editorial in the Wall Street Journal that was strongly against the war.  This caught me by surprise, because ...
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H.N.I.C.

H.N.I.C.

7

May

2014

Ladies and gentlemen, in keeping with our recent attempt to take this blog back to its roots, we are pleased to present the greatest guest columnist this site has ever had.  We are honored more than we can express by the opportunity to present to you these exclusive excerpts from I A.I.M. for the Stars: A Life in Killing, ...
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We Don’t Need Another

We Don’t Need Another

5

May

2014

Heroism is a tricky thing.  It's difficult to define to the point that it's almost entirely personal; it's a thorny enough social concept that we spend endless hours debating what we mean by it in both fiction and reality.  Some people don't like the very idea, finding it too troublesome and too prone to elevate one perso ...
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The Price You Pay for Art

The Price You Pay for Art

3

May

2014

And believe me, it wasn't just the other women. If it had been only that, I could have handled it. A girl comes to expect things like that from certain men, especially from an 'artistic' type. There was also the drinking. The temper. The strangers barging in at three in the morning.And yet you stayed around.Well, what else ...
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