Nothing Succeeds Like Failure

Jan 14 – The syndicate has picked up Rick Ratso! I finally made it, baby. All the effort has been worth it. I want to celebrate, but there’s already no time — I’ve got to turn in the first 2 weeks of strips by next Wednesday.

Jan 29 – Good press already! The reviews have been pretty positive and six new papers have picked up the strip. No time to write more, there’s work to do.

Mar 6 – Nominated for “Best New Strip” by! They’ve asked me to give a talk on how to get syndicated at the UPI convention in May. I really shouldn’t be taking all these pills but there’s so much to catch up on.

Mar 27 – I am totally out of ideas.

Mar 29 – Nothing. I got nothing. I’m writing pun gags about “catastrophe” and “carburator” already. Oh Christ what am I going to do. The coke helps, thank God the checks are rolling in like crazy. Once I get the merchandising deal concrete everything will be okay.

Apr 14 – They’re totally screwing me on these coffee cups. I know they don’t cost that much to make. Fuckers. Fuckers.

April 18 – Fine.  I don’t need a house to create. The bankers, they don’t understand art.

May 2 – Paydirt. Jimmy brought over a book of old New Yorker gag strips. It’s not stealing, because I’m updating it and making it modern. It’s called adaptation, jerk, read all about it. This is gonna turn things around, I know it.

May 8 – Convention didn’t go too well. The coke made me a little paranoid and I ended up calling Mell Lazarus a dirty old whore. The talent relations girl said not to worry about it, it happens all the time.

May 30 – If “The Comics Critique”  is so smart, why doesn’t it have a syndicated goddamn strip? Smart-ass fucking bloggers.  You’re the  ones who seem ‘unfocused and meandering’.

June 7 – Anyone who thinks The Sassingtons is the Best New Strip, including Comics goddamn Pages dot net, can go fuck themselves. Best New Strip up my ass. (I wonder if I can use that. Goddamn S&P.)

June 23 – The new series is doing well. People like the new direction for Rick Ratso; even the coffee cup people aren’t being dicks for once. 4 new papers picked up the strip, although 2 of them were ones that had previously dropped it.

August 6 – All anyone could talk about at the con was Rick Ratso. My hand is falling off from autographs, and I need it to draw! Ha ha. (Use that.) The t-shirt people called Mandy, and we got 8 more papers. Best of all, he practically writes himself, which leaves more time for family, and coke.

August 23 – I can’t believe I have to draw this goddamn rat for the rest of my life.


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