Willie Chickenshack’s R&J Brandy

BILL: Okay, listen to this.

BACON: Hit me.

BILL: “But soft, what light…”

BACON: Wait, what? Butt soft? Who’s he talking about?

BILL: Juliet.

BACON: He’s talking about how her butt is soft? What kind of shit is that? They’re never gonna let you say that.

BILL: No, no, “but soft”. Like, he’s saying, “hold on”.

BACON: Why don’t you just have him say “hold on”, then?

BILL: Because this way it sounds…

BACON: Or “ho there”?

BILL: Who where?

BACON: “Ho there.”

BILL: What ho? What where?

BACON: What is this, an Abbott and Costello routine?

BILL: Who’s Abbott Ann Costello?

BACON: Forget it. Just read the thing.

BILL: “But soft! What light through yonder window…”

BACON: Yonder window?

BILL: That’s what I said.

BACON: What is he, a hillbilly?

BILL: Okay, what would you put? Smart guy.

BACON: How about “What light though that window”?

BILL: Doesn’t fit the meter.

BACON: “That there window”?

BILL: Now who’s a hillbilly?

BACON: This is stupid.

BILL: You’re stupid.

BACON: How much longer is this going to take?

BILL: Depends on how much you’re going to keep interrupting me.

BACON: Go ahead.

BILL: “But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?”

BACON: Breaks? Like, breakdances?

BILL: Now you’re just being difficult.

BACON: Fine.

BILL: “It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.”

BACON: The son?

BILL: Right.

BACON: The son of who?

BILL: She is the sun.

BACON: So, that’s the big twist?

BILL: Twist?

BACON: That’s the twist ending? Juliet is a guy?

BILL: I don’t know why I collaborate with you.


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