Fun in Games

It’s the dog days of August, when baseball teams are either in the head of a pennant race or sweating it out in meaningless late-season games after falling out of contention.  Basketball and hockey are over, football seems like a cold, distant winter mirage, and Americans still don’t give a shit about soccer.  So that means there’s no time like right now for FUNNY SPORTS NAMES, 2015 EDITION.

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL

Arizona Diamondbacks: Tuffy Gosewisch, Rubby De La Rosa, Zack Godley, Jarrod Saltalamacchia

Atlanta Braves:  Julio Teheran, Sugar Ray Marimon, Joey Terdoslavich

Baltimore Orioles:  Jonathan Schoop, Junior Lake

Boston Red Sox:  Blake Swihart, Xander Bogaerts, Heath Hembree, Mookie Betts

Chicago Cubs:  Justin Grimm, Pedro Strop, Taylor Teagarden, Dallas Beeler, Brian Schlitter

Chicago White Sox:  Tyler Flowers, Melky Cabrera

Cincinnati Reds:  Burke Badenhop, Jumbo Diaz, Nate Adcock, Jason Bourgeois, Skip Schumaker

Cleveland Indians:  Jeff Manship, Nick Swisher

Colorado Rockies:  Yohan Flande

Detroit Tigers:  Buck Farmer, Al Albuquerque, Angel Nesbitt

Houston Astros:  Brad Peacock, Hank Conger, Asher Wodzieschowski, L.J. Hoes

Kansas City Royals:  Cheslor Cuthbert, Christian Colon

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim:  Collin Cowgill, Kyle Kubitza

Los Angeles Dodgers: Yasiel Puig

Miami Marlins:  Brad Hand

Milwaukee Brewers:  Tyler Cravy

Minnesota Twins:  Josmil Pinto

New York Mets:  Lucas Duda, Jack Leathersich

New York Yankees:  Nick Rumbelow, Chasen Shreve, Didi Gregorious, Chase Headley, Nick Goody

Oakland Athletics:  Coco Crisp, Rangel Ravelo

Philadelphia Phillies:  Chase Utley

Pittsburgh Pirates:  Antonio Bastardo, John Holdskom, Corey Hart

St. Louis Cardinals:  Kolten Wong, Dean Anna

San Diego Padres:  Odrisamer Despaigne, Yonder Alonso, Jed Gyorko, Cory Spangenberg

San Francisco Giants:  Joe Panik, Angel Pagan, Mike Broadway, Buster Posey, Madison Bumgarner

Seattle Mariners:  Taijuan Walker, Fernando Rodney, Jesus Sucre, Danny Farquhar, Charlie Furbush

Tampa Bay Rays:  Jake Odorizzi, Brad Boxberger, Grady Sizemore, Mike Mahtook, Drew Smyly

Texas Rangers:  Cole Hamels, Prince Fielder, Rougned Odor, Chi Chi Gonzalez, Tanner Scheppers  

Toronto Blue Jays:  Ryan Goins, Dalton Pompey

Washington Nationals:  Doug Fister, Dan Uggla, Wilmer Difo, Matt Den Dekker

MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER

Chicago Fire:  Kennedy Igboananike, Patrick Doody, Harry Shipp, Joevin Jones, Rāzvan Cociš

Colorado Rapids:  Zac MacMath

Columbus Crew:  Emanuel Pogatetz, Harrison Afful

D.C. United:  Facundo Coria, Perry Kitchen

FC Dallas:  Je-Vaughn Wattson, Coy Craft

Houston Dynamo:  Memo Rodriguez, Boniek Garcia

Los Angeles Galaxy:  Bradford Jamieson IV, Jack McBean, Edson Buddle

Montreal Impact:  Dilly Duka, Nigel Reo-Coker, Maxime Crépeau

New England Revolution:  Teal Bunbury, Diego Fagúndez, London Woodberry, Timi Mulgrew

New York City FC:  Kwame Watson-Siriboe, Jeb Brovsky, Mix Diskerud, Shay Facey, Kwadwo Poku

New York Red Bulls:  Anatole Abang, Sal Zizzo

Orlando City:  Tally Hall, Brek Shea, Cyle Larin, Kaká

Philadelphia Union:  Antoine Hoppenot, Fred

Portland Timbers:  Jeanderson, Jack Jewsbury

Real Salt Lake:  Abdoulie Mansally, Pecka, Justen Glad

San Jose Earthquakes:  Mike Fucito, Innocent Emeghara

Seattle Sounders:  Andy Craven

Sporting Kansas City:  Jalil Anibaba

Toronto FC:  Jozy Altidore, Bright Dike

Vancouver Whitecaps:  Pa-Modou Kah, Gershon Koffie, Christian Dean

NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION

Atlanta Hawks:  Terran Petteway, Tiago Splitter

Boston Celtics:  Marcus Smart, Jonas Jerebko

Brooklyn Nets:  Rondae Hollis-Jefferson

Charlotte Hornets:   Nicholas Batum

Chicago Bulls:  E’Twaun Moore

Cleveland Cavaliers:  Iman Shumpert, Sir’Dominic Pointer

Dallas Mavericks:  Jarrid Famous, Zaza Pachulia

Detroit Pistons:  Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Spencer Dinwiddie, Tayshaun Prince

Denver Nuggets:  Jusuf Nurkić

Golden State Warriors:  Festus Ezeli, Kevon Looney, Marresse Speights

Houston Rockets:  Patrick Beverley, Montrezi Harrell, Donatas Motiejūnas

Indiana Pacers:  Rakeem Christmas, Ian Mahinmi, Rodney Stuckey

Los Angeles Clippers:  Dahntay Jones, Hedo Türkoglu

Los Angeles Lakers:  Carlos Boozer

Memphis Grizzlies:  JaMychal Green, Jarnell Stokes, Beno Udrih

Miami Heat:  Chris Bosh, Luol Deng, Justise Winslow

Milwaukee Bucks:  Giannis Antetokounmpo, O.J. Mayo

Minnesota Timberwolves:  Gorgui Dieng

New Orleans Pelicans:  Ömer Ašik, Tyreke Evans, Alonzo Gee, Jrue Holiday, Quincy Pondexter

New York Knicks:  Cleanthony Early, Kristaps Porzíńgis

Oklahoma City Thunder:  Serge Ibaka

Orlando Magic:  Dewayne Dedmon, Roy Devyn Marble

Philadelphia ’76ers:  Furkan Aldemir, Richuan Holmes, Nerlens Noel, JaKarr Sampson

Phoenix Suns:  Sonny Weems

Portland Trail Blazers:  Allen Crabbe, Maurice Harkless, Mason Plumlee

Sacramento Kings:  Quincy Acy, Omri Casspi, Willie Cauley-Stein, Duje Dukan, Rajon Rondo

San Antonio Spurs:  Jimmer Fredette, Patty Mills

Toronto Raptors:  Bismack Biyombo, DeMar DeRozan

Utah Jazz:  Dante Exum, Derrick Favors, Rudy Gobert, Tibor Pleiß

Washington Wizards:  Rasual Butler, Marcin Gortat, Nenê

NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE

Arizona Cardinals;  Frostee Rucker

Atlanta Falcons:  Devonte Freeman, Kroy Biermann, Valerian Ume-Ezeoke, Jopol Bartu

Baltimore Ravens:  Javorious Allen, Kiero Small, Elvis Dumervil, Kapron Lewis-Moore

Buffalo Bills:  Rod Sweeting, Bacarri Rambo, Ross Cockrell, Andre Fluellen, Chris Manhertz

Carolina Panthers:  Fozzy Whitaker, Jerricho Cotchery, Carrington Byndam

Chicago Bears:  David Fales, Senorise Perry, Jacquizz Rodgers, Ego Ferguson, Tayo Fabuluje

Cincinnati Bengals:  Kwame Geathers, Vontaze Burfict, Darqueze Dennard, Onterio McCalebb

Cleveland Browns: Barkevious Mingo, Ishma’aily Kitchen

Dallas Cowboys:  Tyler Clutts, Lache Seastrunk, Deontay Greenberry, Ka’Lial Glaud, Lucky Whitehead

Denver Broncos:  Montee Ball, Darius Kilgo, Taureon Nixon, Britton Colquitt

Detroit Lions:  LaAdrian Waddle, Braxston Cave, Golden Tate

Green Bay Packers:  Fabbians Ebbele, Julius Peppers, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix, Tavarus Dantzler

Houston Texans:  Keith Mumphery, Cecil Shorts III, Justin Tuggle

Indianapolis Colts:  Zurlon Tipton, Jack Mewhort, D’Qwell Jackson, Coby Fleener, Justin Sinz

Jacksonville Jaguars:  Arrelious Benn, Tandon Doss, Cap Capi, Tyler Shatley, Khairi Fortt

Kansas City Chiefs:  Charcandrick West, Junior Hemingway, Frank Zombo, Donatella Lucket

Miami Dolphins:  Jay Ajayi, Sammy Seamster, Jake Stoneburner

Minnesota Vikings:  Mike Kafka, Phil Loadholt, Captain Munnerlyn, MyCole Pruitt, Danielle Hunter

New England Patriots:  Travaris Cadet, Xzavier Dixon, Dekoda Watson, Sealva Siliga

New Orleans Saints:  Toben Opurum, Seantavius Jones, Brandon Browner, Parys Haralson

New York Giants:  Orleans Darkwa, Chykie Brown

New York Jets:  Jake Heaps, Leger Douzable, Brent Qvale, D’Brickashaw Ferguson, Jonathan Rumph

Oakland Raiders:  Trindon Holliday, Denico Autry, Quinterrius Eatmon, SaQwan Edwards

Philadelphia Eagles:  Kiko Alonso, Najee Goode, JaCorey Shepherd

Pittsburgh Steelers:  Cameron Stingily, Maurkice Pouncsely

St. Louis Rams:  Jo-Lonn Dunbar, Alec Ogletree, Imoan Claiborne, Mason Brodine

San Diego Chargers:  Dreamius Smith, Javontee Herndon, D.J. Fluker, Tenny Palepoi, Brock Hekking

San Francisco ’49ers:  DeAndre Smelter, Tank Carradine, Sean Hooey, Joe Looney

Seattle Seahawks:  Deshon Foxx, Obum Gwacham, Cooper Helfet

Tampa Bay Buccaneers:  Jorvorskie Lane, Quayshawne Buckley, Ali Marpet, Edawn Coughman

Tennessee Titans:  Tebucky Jones Jr., Yawin Smallwood, Deiontrez Mount, Yannick Cudjoe-Virgil

Washington Redskins:  Takoby Cofield, Kory Lichtensteiger, Ricky Jean-Francois, Jackson Jeffcoat

NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE

 Anaheim Ducks:  Clayton Stoner, Harry Zolnierczyk

Arizona Coyotes:  B.J. Crombeen

Boston Bruins:  Torey Krug, Joonas Kamppainen

Buffalo Sabres:  Zemgus Girgensons, David Legwand

Calgary Flames:  Josh Jooris, Tyler Wotherspoon

Carolina Hurricanes:  Zack Boychuk, Michal Jordan, Eddie Lack

Chicago Blackhawks:  Scott Darling, Ville Pokka

Colorado Avalanche:  Mark-Andre Cliché, Dennis Everberg

Columbus Blue Jackets:  Cody Goloubef, Dalton Prout, Brandon Saad, Fedor Tyutin

Dallas Stars:  Radek Faksa, Vernon Fiddler, Jyrki Jokipakka

Detroit Red Wings:  Tomas Jurco

Edmonton Oilers:  Rob Klinkhammer, Nikita Nikitin, Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, Tyler Pitlick

Florida Panthers:  Nick Bjugstad, Jussi Jokinen

Los Angeles Kings:  Jonathan Quick, Tyler Toffoli

Minnesota Wild:  Devan Dubnyk, Matt Dumba, Nino Neiderreiter

Montreal Canadiens:  Alexander Semin, Devante Smith-Pelly

Nashville Predators:  Calle Jarnkrok

New Jersey Devils:  Yann Danis, Tuomo Ruutu, Jordin Tootoo

New York Islanders:  Cal Clutterbuck, Travis Hamonic

New York Rangers:  Emerson Etem, Jesper Fast, Tanner Glass,

Ottawa Senators:  Cody Ceci, Matthew Puempel

Philadelphia Flyers:  Brayden Schenn

Pittsburgh Penguins:  Kris LeTang

St. Louis Blues:  Jay Bouwmeester

San Jose Sharks:  Logan Couture, Barclay Goodrow

Tampa Bay Lightning:  Valtteri Filppula

Toronto Maple Leafs:  Tyler Bozak, Dion Phaneuf

Vancouver Canucks:  Dan Hamhuis

Washington Capitals:  Carter Camper, Jason Chimera, Taylor Chorney, Brooks Orpik

Winnipeg Jets:  Grant Clitsome, Connor Hellebuyck

REPLY





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