Really Real

A TAXONOMY OF REALITY PROGRAMMING

COMPETITIVE SHOWS:

* People compete to win money
> People compete to win the right to continue being on television
* People compete in a performing talent show
> People compete in a performing talent show with or against celebrities
* People compete in a race, sport, or other physical challenge
> People who are not professional athletes annoy people who are
* People compete for a high-profile job
> People compete to get fired from, or not get fired from, a high- or low-profile job
* People compete for no good reason
> People are unpleasant to one another for the sheer hell of it

CELEBRITY SHOWS:

* People compete to become famous
> People who once competed to become famous: Where are they now?
* People who were once famous compete to become famous again
> People who were once famous: Where are they now, and how did they become non-famous?
* People who are currently famous lord it over people who are not currently famous
> People who are currently famous bitch about other people who are currently famous
* People who are currently famous discuss how great it is to be currently famous
> People who were once famous discuss how awful it is to be no longer famous
* People who are currently famous pretty much go on with their everyday lives, and we watch them doing it, because after all, they’re famous
> People who are currently famous pretend that they are just like every other non-famous person

SELF-IMPROVEMENT SHOWS:

* People allow their personal dress style to be altered to fit another person’s idea of acceptability
> People allow their entire lifestyle to be altered by a gaggle of homosexuals
* People allow their living space to be altered to fit another person’s idea of acceptability
> People allow their modes of transportation to be altered to fit another person’s idea of acceptibility
* People allow their physical appearance to be altered to fit another person’s idea of acceptability
> People are mocked and humiliated for their non-mainstreamed personal appearances and are then ‘rewarded’ with surgery
* People allow their social behavior to be altered to fit another person’s idea of acceptability
> People’s unacceptable social behavior turns out to be a ruse to mock the unacceptable social behavior of others
* People allow every aspect of their lives to be altered to fit another person’s idea of acceptibility
> People allow thousands of people they will never meet to dictate every life-altering choice they ever make just to be slightly famous for ten minutes

DOCUMENTARY SHOWS:

* Normal people are viewed under normal circumstances
> Normal people are viewed under normal circumstances without their knowledge
* Normal people are viewed under abnormal circumstances
> Normal people are viewed under abnormal circumstances that have to do with their otherness
* Abnormal people are viewed under normal circumstances
> Abnormal people are viewed under normal circumstances but everyone pretends they’re not abnormal at all
* Abnormal people are viewed under abnormal circumstances
> Abnormal people are viewed under abnormal circumstances until it actually becomes normal
* Abnormal people are viewed under abnormal circumstances, but the whole thing is presented as normal
> Abnormal people are viewed under abnormal circumstances by juxtaposing them with normal people in normal circumstances

HUMILIATION SHOWS:

* People humiliate themselves
> People humiliate themselves in front of or alongside their family and/or friends
* People are humiliated by a stranger
> People are humiliated by a stranger who is a military or civilian authority figure of some kind
* People are humiliated by a celebrity
> People are humiliated by a stranger who becomes a celebrity by virtue of his or her talent at humiliating people
* People are humiliated in a romantic or sexual context
> People are humiliated in a romantic or sexual contest involving a person who is fat, boorish, deformed or otherwise abnormal
* People are humiliated for no good reason
> People are humiliated or humiliate other people even though they don’t have to in order to live up to the terms or premise of the show

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