Famous Monsters of Birdland

Famous Monsters of Birdland

27

Oct

2017

The previous century was marked by the transformation of horror of the mind and soul to horror of the body and spirit, from childish night fears of ghosts and ghouls to real-life destruction and terror and an abstraction of horror into a genre of culture meant to turn our deepest dreads into in light entertainment.  So it ...
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What Else is On?

What Else is On?

26

Oct

2017

Folks, you know me.  You're the same six people who keep reading this site throughout the years, so I can say with total confidence that I love you one hundred million times more than I love my own family or even a dog.  It doesn't matter which dog, that's not relevant.  The point is, you know that I normally provide in- ...
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Live Like an Ape Man

Live Like an Ape Man

24

Oct

2017

"Welcome to the season premiere of BookTalk.  This is our seventeenth season, and of course, we could never have gotten this far without your support.  We've always aimed to bring you only the very best of in-depth discussions of literature and the fine arts, so of course I'm pleased to welcome back to the show Mr. Tyrel ...
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Two Hundred and Seventy Wheels

Two Hundred and Seventy Wheels

3

Oct

2017

From the archives of Rig Pigs Fortnightly, thirty of the most likely current candidates for the Truck Driver's Hall of Fame.PEYTON GROTE.  Running canned seafood all over New England and the Mid-Atlantic, Peyton was the first hauler to install an octophonic sound system in his rig.  Favorite Physical Graffiti side:  2. ...
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Smooth Drugs for Smooth People

Smooth Drugs for Smooth People

5

Sep

2017

The three pillars of American debauchery are sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.  Yacht Rock, too, is held aloft by these indispensable ingredients:  sex is a constant presence, even when it’s expressed with some degree of bittersweet poetry from the mouth of a fool.  And you wouldn’t be reading these words if you did ...
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Not So Goodburger

Not So Goodburger

31

Aug

2017

Recently, I was listening to the latest episode of Hold My Order, Terrible Dresser, one of my all-time favorite podcasts.  Although the week's guests were not familiar to me, I was delighted, as both a drunk and a huge RPG nerd, to learn that one of them manages a pub in Vancouver where you can order a burger complete wit ...
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The Teeth Are the Best Part

The Teeth Are the Best Part

30

Aug

2017

Watching classic TV of a previous era is always a dicey proposition.  People can get distracted by out-of-date fashions, technologies, haircuts; even the rhythms of speech and the way audiences laugh at things can seem terribly archaic to a younger viewer.  The lack of immediacy and the somewhat unchanging nature of the t ...
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Learn Along with Lenny

Learn Along with Lenny

20

Aug

2017

Hey!  You!  You look like a smart guy, gal, or gender nonconforming individual!  Are you tired of being played for a sap?  Are you sick of being swindled, stuck with the check, and made out to be the A-number-1 chump at every party and board meeting?  Well, I'm here to tell you that your days of being a grade-Z mark ar ...
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So Why Don’t You?

So Why Don’t You?

27

Jul

2017

Louis C.K. has his fingers in a lot of pies these days.  The great auteur figure of 21st-century comedy maintains, in addition to a robust touring schedule as a stand-up comedian, a production company that shepherds his own television projects.  These include straight-up documentaries, stand-up specials by himself and som ...
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Beez in the Trap

Beez in the Trap

21

Jul

2017

Friends, colleagues, comrades:  I have a confession.I like Chapo Trap House.Yes, that's right:  I am a big fan of one of the most popular podcasts in existence.  I listen to it regularly; I talk about it with some of my friends; and I look forward to each new episode.  Hell, I even contribute to it financially; I am, i ...
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Gentlemen’s Agreement

Gentlemen’s Agreement

20

Jul

2017

Let us say, just for the sake of argumentation, that you find yourself on the editorial staff of a large national men's fashion or entertainment magazine.  This is nothing to be ashamed of; certainly, it is humiliating and embarrassing, but we all must make a living.  Should you wake up one day in this position, you must ...
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Two Slices of Bread and a Promise

Two Slices of Bread and a Promise

13

Jul

2017

It has come to my attention, after a careful review of American commerce and culture, that what this country truly needs right now is another overpriced sandwich shop.  Please give me ten million dollars in venture capital to make this dream a reality.  All profits from Piercenham's Sandwich Shop, after I buy everything I ...
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A People Disjointed Are Always Disappointed

A People Disjointed Are Always Disappointed

10

Jul

2017

Okay, thanks, Kerry -- that'll wrap up the checkins from the Calligraphy for Stalinists working group. Good job, everybody, and we're all really looking forward to the "Merry Christmas from the Gulag" cards this year.Now, if there's no other new business...yeah, Carl?  Well, that's really old business, Carl, and I...well, ...
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Superdelegates

Superdelegates

24

Jun

2017

In these exciting times when the only thing Americans love more than billion-dollar superhero movie franchises is petty intra-party political sniping, I thought it might be time to return to a favorite obsession of mind:  the ideological leanings of various comic book characters.  This has been explored in-universe a bit ...
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Concession Stand

Concession Stand

22

Jun

2017

Ladies and gentlemen, my constituents, citizens of my lovely home town of Fleenerville, voters, and Platinum V.I.P. Brunch Club Super-Tee level donors; my beloved wife Plovis, and my two wonderful sons Coho and Spelt, who flew in to support me tonight right after their Offal Studies final at Klumner State Butcher's College; ...
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