Rebel posts that don’t fit the mold.
It was bound to happen: the Sandwich Century project has run head-on into the grim reality of living in San Antonio. Oh, sure, we’re a 21st-century burg, and we have our share of Asians contending for their share of the Frito pie while Germans and Mexicans fight it out for …
A new month is come again, and that can only mean one thing: obsessive-compulsive replacement of various social media icons. No, wait, it means two things! It also means that Meetup.com, which I signed up for in far more optimistic times, will be sending me a list of activities it …
As I’ve mentioned before, as a living, functioning human with working taste buds, I prefer sugary soda, but as a crypto-diabetic man-bear, I mostly confine myself to diet. However, since the introduction of lo-cal pop, folks in both the amateur and professional theaters of Carbin-Nation have been trying to game …
Desperate times call for desperate actions, and desperate people, apparently, call for desperate sandwiches. While cheapness and ease of assembly are a big part of the appeal of the sandwich, they’re qualities it’s altogether too easy to overdo, and you end up with something that sullies the entire notion of …
Humans are the only animals that can make metaphors or moral judgments. Unfortunately, we make far too few of the former and far too many of the latter. The appealing thing about placing social problems in a moral context is that it allows you to start ignoring the problem; if …
Contrary to all the negative press he’s gotten the last week or so, Charlie Sheen makes perfect sense. All he needs is the right editor. MAGGOT HANDLE This contaminated little maggot Can’t handle my power And can’t handle the truth. FIRED KITTEN Pussy He’s not allowed to quit So …
You can often tell more about a political movement by the things they choose to remain silent about than the things about which they speak out. In the last election, it was telling that the latter-day Birchers known as the Tea Party movement were instrumental in defeating Proposition 19, a …
English cuisine’s reputations for being bland and flavorless is not entirely justified. Sure, the things they do to vegetables should be prosecutable at the Hague, but there are plenty of dishes in the British national menu that are quite tasty. The problem with them isn’t that they’re bland; the problem …
Though this may be on the verge of changing — Dr. Pepper, having owned the brand for a while, is starting to ramp up its marketing and distribution and use it as a competitor of Mountain Dew — but Sun Drop is a valuable lesson in the risks of underselling. …
With football season over and baseball season about to begin, that means only one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Funny Name All-Stars announcements! MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS Chicago Fire: Corben Bone, Baggio Husidic, Kwame Watson-Siriboe Chivas USA: Kevin Guppy Colorado Rapids: Nane Joseph Nane Columbus Crew: Dilly …
“I never met anybody,” Richard Pryor once pointed out, “who said when they were a kid: I wanna grow up and be a critic.” Did he ever meet anyone who said ‘I wanna grow up and watch movies and listen to music and read books all day’? That will remain …
It was in summer of the first year of his second term that the President decided that he didn’t want to go anywhere anymore. It was announced rather precipitately to the public although it was certainly known to his inner circle for quite some time, because when you’re the President …
Since people can never get enough of pop music or good cooking, I present once again a selection of recipes from some of my favorite Rock ‘n’ Roll Cookbooks. Enjoy, and as always, add your own. MANGEZ-VOUS: SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN WITH ABBA Chiquenpita Souper Trouper Watercress Nina’s Pasta Florentina …
In the Sandwich Century’s first clash with the authenticity problem, I found myself approaching this one — a south-of-the-equator version of the standard steak sammy — at something of a loss. Australian food culture, with its Thirst-flavored Life Savers and its Vegemite, has always struck me as something like a …
Despite precedent, and with the exception of some future installments of Lots o’ Soda, I normally drink diet pop. The reason for this is that (a) I am addicted to soda and (b) I weigh six thousand pounds, so in order to extend my life beyond the time it takes …
