Vaccination Nation

Hi!  Thanks so much.  Oh, thank you, and thank you!  Thanks.  I’m Canadian Walk of Fame inductee and turn-of-the-century box office draw Jim Carrey, and I’m pleased to welcome you to the 2017 NoVax4NE1 “green vaccine” conference!  Give yourselves a big hand! It’s always good to see all of you here, …

The Sum Never Sets

Since 1583, the British Empire has been a name you can trust for all your industrial, cultural, and brown-people subjugation needs.  We’ve brought you the railroad, tbe spinning jenny, the difference engine, and the electronically controlled bassoon, not to mention William Shakespeare and a little show called Doctor Who.  Whether we’re …

You’ll Wonder Where the Humor Went

UNHELPFUL MNEMONICS 1.  Every Grotesque Ballardian Describes Fascism 2.  Malicious Vegetables Elude Motorist Junkers’ Stronghold?  Ultimately, No. 3.  Klonopin Is Salacious, Shalimar 4.  Thirty days hath September, quickly grasp my throbbing member, slide your hand ‘pon thither and yon, then consult this sheet of paper I have written the number of …

Stick It In

While I’ve always been opposed to the death penalty, I cannot say it has always been for lofty moral reasons.  I’m certainly not opposed to killing in self-defense, and there are absolutely a lot of people who will leave the world significantly improved once they are rotting away in a …

Married By Cambodia

“”I always had a hard time meeting chicks.” “Yes, I see.” “I mean, not for the reasons you’d think. I’m not shy or anything. And I’m pretty good-looking.” “Hmmm.” “You don’t think I’m good-looking?” “I have no opinion.” “I don’t mean to sound egotistical or anything. I just think that you …

Treaty Time

“Harrison! So good to see you.” “My name is Tonondah Inok.” “Ton…what is it again?” “Tonondah Inok.” “Tonomah…you know, that’s just not going to work for me, Harrison.” “In your language it means Red Wolf.” “That’s a name for a dog, not a man. What’s wrong with Harrison? It’s a …