Stick It In

Stick It In

25

Jul

2014

While I've always been opposed to the death penalty, I cannot say it has always been for lofty moral reasons.  I'm certainly not opposed to killing in self-defense, and there are absolutely a lot of people who will leave the world significantly improved once they are rotting away in a frequently defiled grave.  (That said ...
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Fortunately Gone

Fortunately Gone

29

Jun

2014

This site has momentarily suspended its provision of content.  Perhaps new material is being prepared.  Perhaps its proprietor has died.  Or perhaps a third thing.  By all means, keep checking back, see where it gets you. ...
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I’m On a Submarine Mission for You, Baby

I’m On a Submarine Mission for You, Baby

27

Jun

2014

COLE:  This is fucking boring.MAYHEW:  Shut up, Cole, you little bitch.STRAITHAIRN:   Man, why you have to be like that?  We're on duty.  Show some respect.COLE:  I'm serious, you guys, plus my belt is all grungy or something.MAYHEW:  It's nothing personal, Straithairn.COLE:  I mean, it's like, got crud on it, or w ...
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Passion: The Musical

Passion:  The Musical

25

Jun

2014

Program notes for the first half of this evening's performance at the Hutton Gibson Center for the Performing Arts:ACT 1, SCENE 1: a hill outside of Jerusalem we will later come to know as Golgotha. As the "Overture" plays, Jesus, smiling for the only time during the performance, cavorts about in the backgr ...
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Dude, My Pentagon is HUGE

Dude, My Pentagon is HUGE

23

Jun

2014

...which is why, of course, we'll be bringing in the helicopters at that time, since they'll give us the reliability and flexibility we need. Tom?No, unfortunately I can't give you anything on the Basra situation at the moment. No, we've got some information, which we think is pretty reliable right now, but due to sensitive ...
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Married By Cambodia

Married By Cambodia

21

Jun

2014

""I always had a hard time meeting chicks.""Yes, I see.""I mean, not for the reasons you'd think. I'm not shy or anything. And I'm pretty good-looking.""Hmmm.""You don't think I'm good-looking?""I have no opinion.""I don't mean to sound egotistical or anything. I just think that you have to believe in yourself. Women can t ...
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I Just Can’t Copa

I Just Can’t Copa

19

Jun

2014

Every four years, something truly special happens in the world of sport:  one group of Americans gathers together to make fun of another group of Americans on the internet for liking soccer.Yes, it's World Cup time once again, and while even the laziest poseur can bring himself up to speed about the history, mascots, and f ...
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War Minus the Shooting: The Death of Captain Video

War Minus the Shooting:  The Death of Captain Video

17

Jun

2014

When I was a kid, growing up in Phoenix -- then a fairly small town, long before the arrival of the Diamondbacks and without any notion it would soon grow into one of the ten largest cities in the country -- there was some kind of rivalry going on with San Diego.  It never amounted to much more than the dumb friendly bante ...
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Revenge Fantasy Island

Revenge Fantasy Island

15

Jun

2014

I keep telling myself, it only seems like I'm telling the story for the millionth time. It can't be more than, say, the three hundredth. But the kids are ruthless. Fall back on a stock phrase and they'll eat you alive. There's no 'wine-dark sea' in my living room; Homer's grandkids were obviously a lot more easily amused th ...
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It’s All in How You Market

It’s All in How You Market

13

Jun

2014

"Tim? It's Jill.""Oh, hi, Jill! I'm surprised you're calling so soon. Did they cancel?""No. We had the meeting.""Well? Good news?""Is a 20-minute meeting ever good news?""I dunno. That's what I pay you for.""They've decided to pass, Tim.""No! You're kidding. Why?""They thought that the script was...well, they thought it was ...
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Heavy Lightness & Serious Vanity

Heavy Lightness & Serious Vanity

11

Jun

2014

I am a postmodernist, whatever that means, even if it doesn't mean anything.  If it does mean something, it means that I am perpetually opposed to the idea of canon, of the idea that there are certain things that belong in the realm of capital-A Art and other things that don't; while I think there's such a thing as "good a ...
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Death of an Adman

Death of an Adman

9

Jun

2014

We should have seen it coming.This was our livelihood, after all; we were the artists of commerce, creatives in the world of the merely productive. We worked with words and ideas the way our clients worked with industrial chemicals and institutional foodstuffs. We lived for le mot juste, and we rode wave after wave of insp ...
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Christian Stories for the Clinically Jaded

Christian Stories for the Clinically Jaded

8

Jun

2014

When little Charlie was six years old, he broke one of his mother's favorite bone china plates. Charlie hid the broken plate from his mother, because he knew that she would be very cross. (Charlie's mother was a brittle, unloving old New Englander with the short temper and cold demeanor of a staunch Calvinist, but Charlie l ...
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Flowers in the Recycle Bin

Flowers in the Recycle Bin

6

Jun

2014

From: "Katie" (katieg253@whowantsit.net.ra)To: "Peter" (p_quigley@hotmail.com)Date: July 17, 2002 8:04 PMSubject: Re: your requestThis message appears to be junk mail. This is not junk mailHot co-ed slut wants YOU! Click here to hook up with nubile cum-drunk college girl HUNGRY FOR YOUR COCK! I'm waiting for you, baby...won ...
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Ripper is a Gangster!

Ripper is a Gangster!

4

Jun

2014

This is a ripe one, I think to myself as he crosses the floor. Sixteen if he's a day and he's got that topper out of a coal chute. He's wearing it like it makes him look like a lord. Whatever it takes for the fare, I think, trying not to roll my eyes. I swear I can see him gurning, pulling on the menacing-doctor face while ...
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