Jose Ortega y Gasset called the metaphor “the most fertile power possessed by mankind”. He compared its potential to reshape the world to that of magic, a divine implement somehow handed down to mere humanity. Indeed, one could argue that the metaphor is humanity; it combines two of our most unique …
Goodness knows, I am no metal purist. I’ve been listening to heavy music for thirty years, and I’ve always been an advocate of the big-tent metaphor; the very title of this feature should clue you in to my feelings about inclusiveness as regards the genre. And although I can understand, …
Stand down, oppressors! Your days of dominance are finished; your time of reckoning is at hand! You have stood on our necks for too long. You have excluded us from many of the professions; you have prevented us from becoming educated; you have made us second- and third-class citizens — …
1. Highly controversial choice meant to enrage readers, thus drawing lots of links and hits 2. Conventional but ‘artsy’ choice to prove aesthetic credentials 3. Completely ordinary choice that is actually the thing you like best, but you put it third so as not to seem obvious 4. Another completely …
“All right, let’s move on to Action Item #7.” “Why must we call them that? This is all talk. No action.” “It’s just a phrase, mighty Genghis. It is meant to remind us that these items under discussion are meant to be acted upon immediately rather than tabled.” “What table? …
The French are very sensitive to personal dynamics, and they believe that you must earn your rewards. If a tourist enters a food stall thinking he’s going to be cheated, the salesman will sense this and obligingly cheat him. But if a Frenchman senses that a visitor is delighted to …
I land in Pittsburgh, and can feel the strength of my destiny. I leave Europe behind me with naught but contempt: adieu to you, land of my birth, strangler of talents! You are no friend to the artist. You are a place of calcified class, of snobbery and falsely gained …
The Fourth of July used to be one of my favorite holidays. Its location midway through the summer was a nice kick, and it was a good occasion for grilling before the money dried up and it got too hot to go outside. But beyond that, I had the idealist’s …
As soon as we see Edward G. Robinson in The Woman in the Window, we know there’s going to be trouble. He’ a professor of psychology (a fact that is helpfully driven home by the name “SIGMUND FREUD” on the chalkboard behind him, even though nothing he’s saying has anything …
“Victor, you didn’t invite Adam over again, darling.” “Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?” “Honestly, darling, he’s just awful. We’re getting a reputation. No one will come to our dinner parties if you keep asking him over.” “But whatever is the matter? He’s well-read, a fine speaker, very polite.” …
Derek Raymond didn’t just write about crime; he did something about it. Born to a wealthy London family and raised in the countryside near Kent, Raymond (born Robert Cook) showed a gift for downward mobility as soon as he left Eton: unable to stand the pressure of working for the …
Dear Dr. Helton, The Department of Defense staff has reviewed your application for permission to utilize your newly-developed Time Machine (US Patent #4004-BC-10100036, applied for but not processed) in order to, as you put it, “go back and kill Hitler”. We believe this project has significant merit — in addition …
Many young people recently of drinking age have asked me, in aid of attempting to ‘class up’ their weekend brunches and cock-tail parties, what are the proper ingredients of a Bloody Mary? Well, first of all, it doesn’t count as brunch if you and your stupid friends manage to find …
HOTELS High-End: Located just across the Rue Douleur from Satan’s summer place, the Hell Hilton is the place to go if you’re a visitor to the infernal regions for whom money is no object. The accommodating staff will gladly accept all major credit cards and will remind you of the …
All this twaddle — the existence of God, atheism, determinism, liberation, societies, death, etc. — are pieces of a chess game called language, and they are amusing only if one does not preoccupy oneself with ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ this game of chess. As soon as we start putting our thoughts …
