Fuck if I’m going to wait until I’m on my deathbed to let Esquire ask me for valuable life lessons. Here’s some balls-to-ass wisdom from my 46 years, kids — take it to heart and warn me if you mourn me. *** “There is no more precious love in this world than …
From time to time, this website offers a current events quiz feature, so that our readers may feel au courant in these confusing times. Herewith, our January 2016 edition. 1. The Powerball lottery prize this week was a world’s record $1.5 billion. Who won this colossal prize? (a) A young couple …
I am, to put it mildly, extremely distrustful of reality shows, especially of the competitive variety. Leaving aside the fact that, due to behind-the-scenes staging and manipulation, they rarely qualify as either ‘reality’ or ‘competition’, they also tend to have the nastiest hallmarks of unscripted television: pandering to the lowest …
The second entry in our month of films by eccentric Japanese filmmaker Seijun Suzuki (who, at 92 and beset by health problems, keeps on keeping on and has just recently lensed a documentary and appeared in a new television commercial, a profitable sideline for which he is arguably better known …
Well, the news in this corner of the world — a world that seems less strange and charming without David Bowie in it — is the same as it is all over. He had one last shock in him, and he kept us guessing until the end; I wish like …
Sex crimes are awful things. This should go without saying, but my point is that, beyond being awful on their face, they keep being awful long after they’ve happened; they can leave a victim traumatized for the rest of their lives, not only because of the acts themselves, but because …
With the Gene Siskel center hosting a traveling road show of films by Japanese director Seijun Suzuki, I figured this would be a good month to recap some of his most striking films. And ‘striking’ is the right word. Suzuki has an incredible eye, and while his movies generally are …
It’s New Year’s Day. For millions of people, it is a day of resolutions: of promises to one’s self or one’s loved ones to be healthy, to meet new goals, to expand one’s understanding of the world. Many will make today the day they dedicate themselves to becoming better spouses, …
Hi, loyal readers! LP dot com will be taking the next week to celebrate Christmas with loved ones. I hope you have a chance to do the same. If you celebrate Christmas in a religious way, may Baby Jesus smile on you and yours. If you celebrate it in a …
Justin Kurzel made his reputation with The Snowtown Murders, a shocking and eerie true-crime film from 2011. Eschewing the usual gore and horror of most serial killer flicks, Snowtown focused on the plight of an abandoned community, whose poverty, isolation, and abandonment by legitimate authority made it easy prey for …
When it comes to the choice between bread and circuses, anyone who has seen me knows that I’ll pick bread every time. Bread is honest. Bread isn’t trying to convince you that it’s anything other than bread. Bread has no agenda. Reality shows, on the other hand, have an agenda, …
Decade: the 1770s Greatest Threat: the English Nature of Threat: British sought to place us back under the thumb of their imperial rule Consequences of Failure: we’d all be speaking English today Victor: America! Decade: the 1780s Greatest Threat: liberals Nature of Threat: Attempts to place too many restrictions on gun ownership and not enough restrictions on free …
With new installments of both Star Wars and Star Trek on the way, it could not be more clear that nerd culture has had its revenge on cinema. Rather than waiting to see either of them — I don’t really care to, since I’ve never been especially interested in either franchise — I …
Years ago, my pal Calamity Jon Morris came up with an occasional series called Ask the Defenders, the conceit being that Marvel’s infamous superhero ‘non-team’ of the 1970s was actually an aggregation of dysfunctional, if highly entertaining, personalities who featured into a sort of workplace sitcom. Jon and I encouraged our readers to …
“HO HO HO! And what is your name, champ?” “Thulsa.” “And do you have a last name, Thulsa, so Santa can find your house from the mailbox?” “Doom.” “Well! Er, ho ho! That should be easy to remember! How many little boys named Doom can there be on your block?” …
