Yes, I am trying to be funny.
This joke has been cribbed about a million times recently, but I originally wrote it — with some assists from Angie Epley (center square) and Whitney Pastorek (B-6) — in 2007, so I’m claiming credit for the original idea. Plus, mine is funnier. Prove me wrong, internet. It’s time once …
A new month is come again, and that can only mean one thing: obsessive-compulsive replacement of various social media icons. No, wait, it means two things! It also means that Meetup.com, which I signed up for in far more optimistic times, will be sending me a list of activities it …
Contrary to all the negative press he’s gotten the last week or so, Charlie Sheen makes perfect sense. All he needs is the right editor. MAGGOT HANDLE This contaminated little maggot Can’t handle my power And can’t handle the truth. FIRED KITTEN Pussy He’s not allowed to quit So …
(In ‘honor’ of the upcoming and sure-to-be-hilarious big-screen adaptation of Atlas Shrugged, I present some ballast from the past in the form of this Rand-Chandler mash-up. Enjoy.) Mrs. Roark’s house was outsized and showy, like you’d figure an architect’s house would be. It wasn’t even a house, really; it was …
With football season over and baseball season about to begin, that means only one thing: it’s time for the 2011 Funny Name All-Stars announcements! MAJOR LEAGUE SOCCER FUNNY NAME ALL-STARS Chicago Fire: Corben Bone, Baggio Husidic, Kwame Watson-Siriboe Chivas USA: Kevin Guppy Colorado Rapids: Nane Joseph Nane Columbus Crew: Dilly …
Since people can never get enough of pop music or good cooking, I present once again a selection of recipes from some of my favorite Rock ‘n’ Roll Cookbooks. Enjoy, and as always, add your own. MANGEZ-VOUS: SOMEONE’S IN THE KITCHEN WITH ABBA Chiquenpita Souper Trouper Watercress Nina’s Pasta Florentina …
Oh, boy, folks, are you in for it now. The PetardCast is back, on its new biweekly schedule, but what we lose in timeliness we make up for in sheer audacious holy-shittitude. This time, the mighty William Ham stops by to engage in some chit-chat, we play up the bright …
MANHATTAN. “Okay this one is easy. It’s what you call a basic, a basic cocktail. You take a whiskey, a rye whiskey, and vermouth, and a cherry. And there you ugh! Sorry, there you go! It’s easy! It was named after the Manhattan cocktail. I mean, the Manhattan Hotel. In …
I have appeared on a brand new episode of everyone’s favorite drunken podcast, Wasted Words, and shit gets epic! RJ White, Olivia Todd, Mike Riggs, and Shek Baker are forced to listen to me voice my obnoxious irony about celebrity culture. Also, there is long-vanished candy, soda pop, crazy people …
Crime is perennially at the top of polls regarding what voters worry about the most. With the upsurge in terrorism, the advent of cyber-crime, and organized crime taking on a new international flavor, people are not only concerned about crime, but they seem to have new crimes to worry about …
Everybody likes being right, but sometimes being right is a lot more like a severe depressant than an ego boost. Such is the case with today’s look at the world’s widest web: I have always maintained that, even in comparison with such internet sewers as IMDB and YouTube, the comments …
The other day, which by my reckoning could have been anywhere between last Thursday and Thanksgiving of 2004, I was talking with a good friend about the Daily Beast’s annual ranking of the smartest cities in America. Although my stomping grounds of San Antonio ranked 54th out of 55, that …
The PetardCast makes its triumphant return as I finally sort of get the hang of sound levels. I am joined by special guest Claire Zulkey, a multi-talented dame from my beloved Chicago, who engages in obscure sketch comedy with me and explains how Ryan Seacrest is gay even if he …
1. A popular band makes it a point while on tour to stick with performing material familiar to their fans, reckoning that this is what they most want to hear. Detractors cite this as a reason the band is unadventurous, predictable, and dull. 2. One night, the bandleader, deciding to …
From “Peter9827″‘s review of Blues Brothers 2000: Alright Here is my review of Blues Brothers 2000 the sequel to the 1980 Classic the Blues Brothers Which was one of my favorites this also one of my favorites too.But Before I begin this review this movie has nothing to do with …
